Oh what a night

Insomnia struck last night. I spent the evening agonizing over whether those might be slight AF-like cramps I was feeling, and might my slight backache be AF or just from me sitting in a weird position on the futon for too long? Every time there was the slightest drip onto my new best friend, the pantyliner, off I went to check and make sure I hadn't started spotting. I've lost track of how many times I've tried to decide if the "girls" are getting bigger or not. Of course, this could all be from the lovely suppositories I'm still stuffing up there 2-3 times a day.
Of course I then couldn't sleep when I went to bed, so I ended up snoozing on the futon in the living room. Somehow I find it easier to sleep out there when I'm having a bad night - not sure if it's the change in location, or the intermittent hum from the fridge, or just not having to worry about disturbing DH, but I finally dropped off around 3:30am and managed to doze off and on till about 12pm when he finally had to come scavenging for food in the kitchen.
I still haven't POAS. I'm very proud of myself for that. It might put me out of my misery, but I'm too scared to at this point. Better to just keep on praying that things turn out well tomorrow, and we have a fantastically high beta at 20dpo. Please God, let this be it!