We survived week two. The freezer stash is slowly depleting, but I think I'm finally OK with moving to EBM and formula mixed in with solids after that. It's getting pretty tiring, all this pumping and worrying. I still tended to get 7-8oz of milk out each day this week at work, but she goes through more than that every day while I'm gone.
Kara has only been waking up once at night the last few nights, so she's dropped herself down to 6 larger feedings a day. Her weight this morning was only 4.83kg, so not great weight gain over the last few days. I'm going to have to try to get more extra milk into her after each feed, since I usually stop when she hits the 80-90mL mark (around 3oz) of extra. I have a feeling she's still not getting much more than 1.5oz at the breast each time.
ETA: Kara's started crying occasionally while on the breast, as of last night. She protested madly when I tried to get her latched on more deeply today, and then started crying. Makes me feel like the end is near.
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6 comments:
Great job surviving week two. You have worked so hard and done such a great job getting this far. The past week or two Birdie has been getting about 3 oz of formula each day, and surprisingly, I don't feel too bad about it. That's nice that she is only waking up once a night. I'm sorry she has been crying at the breast. This breastfeeding thing has been WAY harder than I ever imagined.
I am so sorry for the ongoing struggles-- I truly believe that the best decision (always) is the one that feels best for you under the circumstances where you find yourself.
Sometimes it is so hard to let go of what we wanted, but sometimes by doing so, we let ourselves more fully experience and be present for what we have. I wish I could offer solace or solution, but I have nothing to offer but acknowledgment of your amazing efforts and tenacity and that you are doing all that you can.
one of the many myths is that somehow this part, breast feeding, is supposed to be easy. I wish it were, OH I wish it were a sure bet, a done deal, something that just happens. But I swear I hear more stories of struggle than anything. I wish it were different for you with all of my heart.
no matter what you choose, and I am sure I've already said this, no matter what, I'm behind you 100%.
with love,
Kate
Thanks for your sweet words of support. They mean a lot!
I was blown away by the offers of frozen EBM last week. Just need to get over myself and give formula soon.
It's wonderful and freaky all at the same time when they drop feeds in the night isn't it? My girls recently dropped a feed as well and are only waking up once at around 3am to eat. At first I didn't realize that it meant that they needed to eat more at each meal during the day (duh!) but I figured it out after a cranky day or two.
Crying at the breast...I've had that too and it's so hard to figure out what is going on and what is wrong. My girls, one in particular, cries at the breast for several reasons that have nothing to do with the end of BF. She cries when she's tired and just wants a bottle - too much work to BF and she has a preference for the bottle anyway. She also cries when the flow of milk isn't to her liking...to slow compared to the bottle and she just wants satisfaction now. This usually happens when she's latched on initially and then gets frustrated a few minutes into the feed. She also cries when I don't have a let down fast enough for her and it's hard not to get stressed when she's crying for milk and I just can't get a let down to happen. She's cried for a day (at every feed) and so I end up bottling her and then I try again later. I try BF at each meal until she gets frustrated and then I give her the bottle. She does come back and I have tried every trick in the book to get let downs etc. and I also try not to pump too close to a feed to ensure that there is enough milk for her. Who ever said that BF is easy is off their rocker don't you think? Waaaay harder than I imagined. BTW I hope you keep pumping for the missing feed? When my girls dropped their 10pm feed, I still pumped before going to bed to ensure that my supply didn't change.
Nope, I haven't kept up the extra pump session, stupidly. She'll feed around 8-9pm, and might stir around 2:30, at which point I wake her to feed as 6 hours have gone by. I think I may start waking myself to pump at 11-12 at night, and then just feed her when she wakes. We gave her 4oz more yesterday than I was able to pump.
Kate, you're so brave and determined to continue. I know, with my patience, I probably would have given up already. Sometimes, babies do not want to go back to the breasts after getting bottle fed.
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