Agonizing over timing

Well, it seems that ovulation time is finally upon us again. And once again, I agonized over how we should time the BDing. I've got my fancy expensive OVwatch, which told me Fertile Day 1 was Monday, so my peak days for conception should have been Fertile Days 3 and 4 (today and tomorrow). Unfortunately, I'm not so sure it got it right, because I'm still playing with OPKs and following the Creighton method too (basically tracking cervical mucus (CM)), and things are not lining up with the OVwatch.

I forgot to take the OPK on Sunday, and had a nearly positive one on Monday that I was convinced was going to be a true positive on Tuesday. But then Tuesday's was lighter, and today's lighter still. And I had some spotting yesterday and today, with the EWCM gone today, which all put together makes me wonder if maybe I ovulated yesterday. Which means that I had BD timing of O-2 and O (possibly), where O-1 would have been better. And though I had great EWCM on what might be O-1, when DH asked if he was needed for a "deposit" that night, I said we could probably wait another day instead, since I was thinking an extra day might help with the swimmers. If I hadn't been worried about the possible male factor issue, I'd have been all over him and his offer...

And so goes my life. I spend 1.5 weeks waiting for AF and the damn spotting after it to go away, then a week waiting for the EWCM to show up in force and O to arrive, and then the two weeks after that agonizing about our BD timing and whether or not we might be pregnant. This just totally sucks. Why can't I just have a glass of wine and fall into bed with DH, and then realize I'm pregnant a couple weeks later just like normal fertile folk? It doesn't help that a friend just posted more photos of her cute newborn, and another who I went to med school with just had her second gorgeous baby.

I'm going to try to spend the next couple weeks being calm, visualizing fertilization and implantation and success, and we'll see if God's got a baby in his plans for me and DH this time around. I hope so with all my heart. If not, reading The Infertility Cure by Randine Lewis has really got me thinking that maybe I should pursue some alternative routes like Traditional Chinese Medicine. I may have to contact a couple clinics to get some more information. And I really have to get them going on DH's workup.