I was so eager to start trying again right away, especially since I'd heard that the first couple months post miscarriage are more fertile. Of course it was just my luck that S was away on business during my entire fertile time that first month out. My RE didn't have me on any meds except for luteal progesterone.
The next cycle (the one that ended today) I was on letrazole again, along with HCG post-O. When I started spotting in the LP around 5dpo, I decided to add in the progesterone suppositories too, and the spotting went away entirely. I refused and refused to get my hopes up until I'd stopped the progesterone on 13dpo and still hadn't spotted by 15dpo (yesterday).
And then I woke up this morning to find out that that bitch AF was back yet again. Fuck! Why can't I just catch a break for once. If I take 4 months to get pregnant now, I'll be ready to deliver during my Royal College exams in 2009. I'd really wanted a Christmas 2008 baby, but that's not to be, I guess.
It's so hard to stay optimistic. Somehow it wasn't so hard back before we'd gotten the BFP. Now that I know it's possible for us to have success, it's almost harder to see the BFN. And I also just found out that S's repeat semen analysis again shows low volume and worse motility than before, so I'm worrying that we've now got male factor to overcome along with all my crazy hormonal issues.
The game plan for this month: stay positive, relax (yeah right!), take femara, have lots of sex, and then add estradiol patches during the LP to see if that makes a difference. I sure hope so. I'm 33.5 years old now, infertile/subfertile, and I really want to have 2-3 kids. Time's running out...
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I keep my fingers crossed for you. I was reading the whole time when you went through the miscarriage and all that... I cried for you. I hope that very soon, you find yourself getting everything you've ever hoped for.
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