12dpo and counting

I ended up triggering under my own steam two Mondays ago. It was a bit of a mess-up, I think. Dr. D had told me to trigger when my E2 got to over 900-1000. I was on call that Monday night, so when I finally checked my bloodwork at 5:30pm and called her office to see what I should do (E2 was about 1160) after putting in a couple epidurals, she'd already gone home. I left a message with my pager number and cell number asking if I should trigger or not, and how much, and didn't hear back from her. So by 8pm I figured I'd better get on with it and gave myself 10000IU HCG trigger and finished off the Gonal-F (about 120U were left in the pen!) like she'd told me to. Of course my pager went off at 10:30pm, and Dr. D was calling to say she'd had to come back to the office and had gotten my message. Had I done the Gonal-F? Good. I'd done the HCG? Oh, she'd have waited another day maybe. Did I do half-dose or full dose? Full. Well, she'd have done half and used the other half later as a booster. Great. Seems like anything I could have screwed up, I screwed up.

When I went in on Wed for another scan, it seemed like my follicle was already collapsing. She had me come in again Thurs and Friday to be sure, and found two other big (>2cm) follicles on the L side that she thought would also ovulate. No such luck though, I don't think. I've been scanning myself at work since Dr. D is on vacation for August, and they've just grown bigger and bigger, and now I've got a couple 4cm cysts on that side.

My progesterone was still climbing nicely (66 in CDN units by 4dpo), so after giving those 2 follicles a chance to go and confirming I'd really ovulated based on the progesterone values, I started the progesterone suppositories last Sunday. So far so good - no spotting. My temp did drop 0.2 degrees yesterday on 11dpo, so I've stopped temping for now to keep me from getting even more anxious and depressed.

I've got the appointment with the gynecologist who's to consider me for laparoscopy to rule out endometriosis on Wed afternoon. I'm really hoping I can avoid having surgery. If I can't hold out any longer, I'll be POAS on Wed morning so I know what's up before that appointment.

In other news, I'm still feeling like a second-class citizen. My Dad comes to North America 2-3 times a year, and every time spends most if not all of his free time with my brother and his two kids. I'm lucky if I see him for dinner once. It's getting me a little down that I somehow hold none of the attraction so long as I don't have any kids for him to visit. Hopefully that will all turn around one of these days in the very near future...