Well, just as I thought I was still feeling optimistic with things looking relatively clear since my last progesterone and estrogen on Sunday, the spotting started again. Just a little tiny bit of light brown earlier today, and then dark red more profuse spotting later. I hope this isn't the beginning of the end. If it is, I think AF should arrive tomorrow. Please God let that not happen!
Of course after seeing the spotting, I had to go back on fertilityfriend to look and see what my chart in December looked like when I got pregnant. I did have heavy red spotting at 12 and 14dpo, and today's 14dpo. I hope what I had today is just some slight hormone-withdrawal-spotting from stopping the progesterone and estrogen. I guess I'll find out in the next day or so.
This is slowly getting harder and harder. Today I did the anesthetics for 4 cesarian sections, and got to see all the cute newborns. And then in the afternoon I did the anesthetics for 3 terminations. Those women don't know what they've got, or how much I'd give to have what they had till this afternoon. I sometimes feel a little strange doing anesthetics for D&Cs, but I justify it to myself by saying that I'm not ending the life, and I'm not making the choice for the patients, but I am preventing them from suffering while it's being done. At least one of the 4 scheduled patients changed her mind and decided to keep the baby. And at least 3 of the 4 C/S patients this morning were older than me, so I guess there's still hope.
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