K started JK in Sept 2014. She loves her teacher Mrs. P and the ECE teacher Ms. H. She's got 32 kids in her class and seems to get along well with all. When DH drops her off after she comes home for lunch, there are usually a couple friends of hers in the playground who come to the fence and shout "Hi K!" and are eager to see her again. She seems so much better socially than DH and I ever were. The Mommy guilt continues. We finally got our police checks done to be able to volunteer in her classroom, and so I told her I'd go in one morning on a vacation week (I had meetings in the afternoon). 1-2 days before that (after I told her), I found out we were really short-staffed and I'd have to work, and had to cancel on her at the last minute. She was totally crushed and I felt totally guilty. She'd already told her friends I was coming in. Luckily I managed to get an afternoon off a couple weeks later and was able to go in and help at the painting station and keep one group of 10 kids organized in gym class.
It was fun to actually get to see the kids she's been talking about all year. Little Seine (who had never even met me) came over to line up to go in with us after lunch and proceeded to lean against my leg and then take my hand. Her Mom had told DH the week before when they ran into each other on the way to school that Seine wouldn't have survived a month of JK without K. K had told us Seine cried every day when her Mom dropped her off, but K didn't tell us that every day she'd go over and give Seine a hug and take her hand to lead her into the classroom. My heart melted and I was almost crying when DH told me what Seine's Mom had told him, I was so proud of my compassionate and empathetic little K. Maya still had pretty broken English and kept on crying in gym class because she wasn't good at the relay race and didn't want to participate any more. She also didn't want all the kids to be looking at her while she ran the race. I tried to encourage her and tell her that she was a good runner and that she'd only get better if she practices, and that that was why the SK kids were better at the activities. She reluctantly agreed to participate when I asked if it would be better if I walked and hopped along with her. That poor kid doesn't have much confidence or gumption, and I realized how lucky we are that K is a lot more happy to try out new things and not as bad at accepting it when she's not the best.
In other news, we've had a new nanny for 5 weeks now. The first new one from Grenada (Z) didn't end up working out very well. She seemed energetic, but was a little over-the-top in-your-face touchy-feely with K, tickling her and hugging her when she really didn't know Z that well. She was kind of flaky, showing up late, and seemed to have a weird relationship with food (barely brought anything for her lunch, and still ended up eating some of K's snacks etc). One day K came home and seemed very subdued. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me Z had told her to not ask questions, it was rude. When I asked what had happened, she told me they'd been walking home from the library and she'd seen a man holding a beetle in his hand. When they were a little ways away from him, she'd asked Z why the man was holding a beetle, and apparently Z told her to not ask questions, it was rude. The way K was acting, I had the impression that Z had said it in a very harsh manner and it seemed like she was trying to suppress a 4yo's natural curiosity. Then my Mom came to visit and said that Z had sent K upstairs for quiet time, so she'd gone to the basement guest room. 2 hours later, she still hadn't heard much activity or talking upstairs so she went up to take a peek. She found K alone at the dining room table eating a snack, while Z was down in the basement cleaning the bathroom. I feel like that's a safety thing, being on a different level to the child you're paid to look after while she's eating, and also feel like you should also be around to talk with the child while she eats. K was apparently looking very lonely and sad. That was the last straw and we started looking for another nanny.
The next one we hired in a very short time frame. K had told us she wasn't very happy with Z, so we swore our 4.5yo to secrecy and started looking again. We interviewed a Mexican woman (E) who seemed pretty nice and had nice references, and was able to start working 1 week later. She was very particular when reading the contract, and took a lot of time over it. We took that to mean she was conscientious and detail-oriented. Not so much! She was quite demanding, as we subsequently found out. Kept seeming very suspicious that we were trying to screw her over and bugging DH about whether she was being paid overtime etc. She got an entire months' paid vacation to mexico 2.5 months after starting with us, yet still seemed to think we were using her if she worked 30min more in a week (even though we'd send her home 30min early the next week). It seemed like every time I came home, DH would complain about something she'd done, whether she was complaining about what she had to do, or wasn't putting dishes in the dishwasher properly. She'd been hired to be a housekeeper/nanny/cook, yet rarely cooked without direct instructions, and frequently just prepared some chicken breast, leaving us to prep toppings for fajitas/tostadas or to prep the veggies ourselves. She lost her Metropass twice and was often a bit late without ever acknowledging it. She refused to bring the empty garbage cans in after they'd been collected, even though she could head out through the garage on her way to get K from school and bring them in en route, claiming that the other nannies didn't have to do that. The other nannies all have younger kids to look after and weren't hired to be housekeepers as well! And actually, they do also bring in the garbage!
Once I started mentioning that we might be looking for a new nanny, our neighbour and friend told me that she'd once seen K walking down our block (a very long one) completely by herself, and finally when she'd gotten halfway, she'd seen E come out of an alleyway or driveway farther up the road talking on her phone. I was shocked she hadn't told us that when it had happened! When DH reported E complaining yet again, I started to wonder if she was looking for another job and decided to go back on the website to see if there were lots of nannies looking for work.Whose profile did I come across pretty quickly but E's, showing that she'd logged in that day. I kept checking in for the next week, and saw that she was logging in every day while at work. One Sunday, I noticed she'd updated her profile and put her available date as being 3 weeks later, so I decided I'd really better get serious about looking. I signed up for the website the next day to be able to post a job and start contacting people, and posted a truthful yet slightly disguised job posting so that it wouldn't be totally obvious to E that we were looking. Who applied for my job 6 hours later but E! Obviously she was very seriously looking...
DH was out of town so I talked to a few interesting people myself on the phone. I mentioned I was looking again at work and the nurses told me to talk to one of the housekeepers who might know of someone looking for a job. DH got back and reluctantly discussed interviewing, though he was stressed at work and didn't want to worry about hiring someone new. We interviewed 1 person who seemed OK, then 2 days later, I got a phone call out of the blue while at work from N. The hospital housekeeper had apparently approached another Filipino on her bus to ask if she was looking, and she wasn't but knew of someone else who was. N sounded amazing, super easy to talk to, good English, genuinely attached to the kids she'd looked after in the past. She lives farther away than we'd hoped, but had had a slightly longer commute for the 9.5 years she'd been with the previous family. I called DH all excited and asked if we could interview her that very night if her husband got home from work early enough to come with her. They managed to make it work and she was as lovely in person as she was on the phone. DH said afterwards that it was less like an interview and more like a conversation. N is very sweet, has a 15yo daughter and a 19yo son of her own who is off at University. Both are wonderful children and obviously have parents who raised them with great values and discipline. After we'd interviewed the final 2 people who I'd already set something up with, we made N an offer. When we arranged to meet up to sign the contract and said we could drive up to near where she lives and meet for a coffee so she didn't have to drag back down to us, she invited us to dinner to meet her family. They were all so nice. She and I continued to exchange emails in the 2 weeks prior to her starting, and after I mentioned that K was going to come to a medical staff association meeting with me one night while DH was away on business, she told me I should drop her off to have dinner at their place. K was interested in going, so I actually did that and she had a really nice time having dinner at N's cousin's place, since they ended up being invited over there. N had her previous kids over for sleepovers quite frequently when their single mother wanted to get out for an evening, and I'd had an extensive conversation with her previous employer who obviously thought the world of her. I couldn't believe I was considering leaving K with people I'd just met, but I had such a good gut feeling about them.
So far, N is working out incredibly well. She has a very calm and loving personality, with high expectations for good behaviour. She and K get along great. She effortlessly took over the housekeeping and cooking, and we have healthy food to each every night, which I find rather tasty. She's happy and chatty and friendly and a joy to be around. I had the first couple days off work when she started, and when I walked to school after lunch with her and K to drop K off, the playground monitor came over and asked me if I'd been sure to tell N that if no kids or adults are in the kindergarten playground, N is to take K into school past the main office to wait for the bell. Apparently E had dropped her off in an empty yard more than once, and just by chance had the monitor or a teacher noticed her through the window standing outside by herself. The monitor also told DH that it was nice to see someone smiling and friendly drop K off, so apparently no one much liked E. Except K, who was sad to see her go and apparently got roped into a little campaign by E in an attempt to keep her job. I think K had told E we were looking, and definitely told her once we'd hired N, as we heard from our friend that her nanny had told her we'd hired someone else, and that K had told E. The final week, E stepped it up a little while DH was away in an attempt to keep her position, but it was too little too late. She got a nice chunk of severance money, and that was that.
In March, K turned 5 and we had 2 parties and I baked 3 cakes. First party was for her school friends (10 of 12 came), and I had to make it egg-free for the one allergic to eggs, and was shocked when his mother said most people (including his best friend's mother) usually don't accommodate and tell her to bring food for him to eat to parties. Can't even imagine excluding a kid like that! Second party was for her old nanny group of friends from before school, which was also about 10 kids. I couldn't handle the thought of having 20-24 kids plus random parents over at once, so thought I'd split it into 2. And as well, with fewer kids at each party, K had time to play with everyone. The only game they were interested in playing was pass the parcel and memory, and other than that just wanted free play. Guess I'll try again with the games next year. K was thrilled that our first nanny A was able to stop by for a quick visit.
So I guess that pretty much updates things. We had a great time in Germany at Christmas this year, with lots of time for friends and family. We got back to our old road-trip style vacation in France last summer now that K's old enough to handle that, which was really nice. And we had a great time at Dis.ney World with my Mom and brother and his family in Dec, including a 3 day cruise.
1 comment:
Love the update! I can't believe K is 5 already!
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