6 months was my most recent pumping goal. I've been able to keep up with K's needs (with her eating solids 2x/day) since shortly going back to work and switching to exclusively pumping. Before that, her weight gain was crummy. After I switched over, her weight gain picked up, and she started sleeping through the night.
Now that I hit the 6 month mark (can't believe I've been doing this for over 5.5 months), I feel like I should let myself off the hook and finally start getting a little more sleep and giving myself a little less stress at work. But despite the raw nipples and fatigue, I'm finding it hard to cut back. I've stopped pumping at 1am and 4:30am, and am now just pumping once at 2am. I'm trying to pump twice at work rather than three times, and I'm trying to go longer between pumps in the evenings. So far the production seems to be holding up, but I'm not sure for how long it'll stay that way. It already feels like things are starting to slow in the last 24h. I'd better do the formula taste test tomorrow to be sure she'll still take it.
Will I be glad to see the end of this phase of my life, or happy to get my body and time back, and to have painless nipples again? Happy to start losing the last of the baby weight? Or will I just feel guilty that I'm no longer providing her with the best nutrition and antibodies?
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8 comments:
Wish I had some answers for you on that one. Remeber that your needs are important too - not just for yourself, but also to ensure that K has a happy mummy. My guess is that you'll feel glad, happy, worried and guilty - that seems to be the general theme of motherhood.
All of the above. I have cut out pumping completely and the babies are getting almost all formula with an ounce of breast milk in each bottle from my frozen stash.
I do not feel happy at all. Less stressed, yes. Guilty, yes. More rested, yes. Excited to get my body back (selfish and self centered but yes).
Decisions such as the ones you're contemplating are usually hard to make and most come with feelings of guilt. As Dandle said, think about your needs too. However, whatever decision you make, make sure that you'll be happy with it.
Don't feel guilty. It sounds like you'll still be providing some milk for a while yet. I think getting used to some formula will help you ease up on yourself a lot.
I'm only pumping 2x a day at work now. I have to do my last pump at 1pm so that I will have enough supply built up for the evenings. I was worried that instead of accumulating I would just make less, but I seem to be accumulating (although I don't feel the fullness until about an hour before the feeding). I think a lot of it comes down to schedule. So cutting back on the pumping probably won't cause a big decrease as long as you stick to a schedule and do a good job emptying your breasts.
I will warn you to not trust the freestyle too much. I'm thinking Michael (the Hulk) probably has a stronger latch than your LO so I notice a pretty significant decline in production during the work week and I'm pretty sure it's the pump's fault. I've noticed that I can even get more milk when I plug it in instead of using the battery. I have 2 sets of collectors and it happens with both of them. I just don't think it's powerful enough for me. So even though you seem to be doing well on it, if you continue to experience decline in production, I would take a hard look at that pump and give Medela a call. I've been reading reviews and it seems that the battery power has been a problem for several people. If I ever have another, I think I may just rent a lactina and use my freestyle for trips. The lactina I used could suck the paint off a car. It got me through mastitis (oh, that was some thick, nasty looking milk) and this freestyle can't even undo a clogged duct. I love the size, but I know that it would not work for exclusive pumping for me.
I've got mine set to 6. I don't think upping the level really increases the response most of the time... just the pain.
I'm honestly just not a fan of the sucking speed. It's just much faster than my baby and therefore less natural. I need the actual "suck" to last longer (I think this would make a huge difference) and tiny more space in between sucks. I wish it was adjustable speed. That's probably the biggest reason I'd try a different pump next time. I really looked into the Ameda Purely Yours because it has independent suction and speed controls, but I got the Medela because that's whey my LC had in stock.
I got a feeling I'm going to be facing these same exact feelings in about 3 months!!! Not a fun decision to make.
To add to another commenter's comment, I too have heard the same about the freestyle. I was researching it as I was seriously considering buying it, but then I read way too many reviews that their supply dropped because the suction was much weaker than the pump in style. Just an fyi...
I completely understand how you feel torn at this point. I get teary eyed thinking about this stage coming to an end or even their increasing independence from me given they are now on solids. It's such an intimate bond between mother and child...hard to let that go isn't it?
It's only natural I guess as it represents another milestone and reminds us how darn fast they are growing up. If it helps you, my pediatrician said to me the other day that the most benefit they will get from EBM is in the first 6 months so you've made it and given K the best nutrition and antibodies. Now it's time for some of those things to come from solids...letting go...that's something else entirely that I'm not sure how to deal with myself. Just know you're not alone in the way you're feeling.
So I've been stewing about this pumping thing for awhile, but today I got really fixated on it and called Medela. They are sending me a new pump tomorrow. I've spent so much time blaming myself and baby for my decreased output, and it can't be all us, it was time to start putting some of the blame on the pump. I will let you know how it goes.
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